As a Mind Wavers

Wandering in dreaming
Being led to be crushed
Expecting connection
Diced and sliced on the fly

Friendship’s biting
And bitter taste
Two hearts opened
Left bleeding alone

Enthusiasm jumps
For new found joys
But quickly dies
As a mind wavers

Left to ponder
What Have I Done!
To be quickly dismissed!
Left to die again!

And the walls mount high
And hopes guarded firm
Yet another betrayal
Yet another gone wrong!

Is my face so horrid!
My words so perverse!
My thoughts so revolting!
That they flee from my sight?

What is it about me
That causes to find
Such a scary picture
Left in one’s mind?

Once again I seclude
Scared to come out again
Not wanting to be hurt
Not wanting to scare

Once again I give up
Asking with contempt
Is it worth this harsh price!

(©Brian David Smith 4/12/04)