DEEP THOUGHTS AND WORDS TO LIVE BY...

• You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
• Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
• If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
• No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.
• If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?
• If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.
• If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is going on.
• One good turn gets most of the blankets.
• It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
• There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.
• It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.
• My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.
• There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
• An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
• Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.
• No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.
• Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.